


Son of Infinity

by BWolf_20



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Bizarre Transformation, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Fear, Gen, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Infinity Gems, Inhuman Tony Stark, Mortality, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pain, Past Character Death, Post Thanos, Protective Tony Stark, Resolving past issues, Reunions, Soul world, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Lives, Tony infused with Infinity stones, Tony struggling with changed self, Tony wields the Gauntlet, Tony with the powers of the Infinity stones, Transformation, Violence, team coming together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-13 00:47:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21485581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BWolf_20/pseuds/BWolf_20
Summary: After Tony made the snap, there was immense pain and the realization that he was going to die. Thanos’s body was turning to dust while he was dying. He expected to die, but in a strange and painful turn of events, the stones merged with his body, altering him into an extraordinary new version of himself. He wasn’t sure what he had just become or whether he was dead or alive. All he knew was that he was possibly the most powerful being currently in existence.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Avengers Team
Comments: 21
Kudos: 110





	1. Dead or Alive?

**Author's Note:**

> I've been eager to find a fic that dealt with Tony surviving and undergoing some kind of transformation after wielding the gauntlet instead of dying, but never found one :( ...so I ended up forming my own. I also wanted to delve into Endgame territory at last after re-watching the movie a few times. I've never written anything concerning the stones, so hopefully I'm not too far off with things. But considering the plot, I'm already throwing out the fact that Tony should've been destroyed by that much power.

“And I, am Iron Man.”

The sudden power from the snap that followed the words, surged through his body like an internal hurricane lasting only seconds. In that time his teeth rattled and his organs jerked sickeningly. He felt the immense power of the stones spread as a single invisible wave, rolling outward into the space around him. The force that had moved through him in less than a minute had already wreaked havoc on his system. He could sense that much because it was now taking all his will to stay standing as he watched Thanos.

The look of quiet defeat on the titan’s face was satisfying. He knew the truth of the moment without having to look around at his comrades who were already showing signs of being affected. Tony didn’t turn away to watch for clarification. His eyes remained locked onto Thanos. It was the one thing holding him in place; that look of sorrowful defeat. He took a step back and sank down on a piece of rubble with his head hanging as he awaited his end. Tony watched as the top of his right shoulder began to crumble. He remembered what it looked like when someone turned to ash, but in Thanos’s case he hoped it hurt.

A sudden weakness in his right leg had him stumbling in place. There wasn’t much time left. His heart was pounding like a furious jackhammer while everything else was slowing down. He refused to think about what it meant. It wasn’t something he wanted. He, Tony Stark, had managed to settle down like the average person by getting married and starting a family. His little piece of happiness was settled in a cozy little cabin, but he would not make it back there. He would not get the chance to see Morgan again, and knowing that much had his lower lip trembling a little. If he couldn’t get the chance to see his little girl again, well, at least he was able to watch Thanos die.

Suddenly a numbing sensation began to work its way down the fingertips of his gauntlet covered hand. He raised it to his line of sight and gasped as the fingers of the gauntlet followed in Thanos’s footsteps by crumbling to ash. 

“Boss?” came Friday’s voice.

He couldn’t respond. All he could do was stumble about in disbelief. He knew he was going to die but not like this. He shifted his gaze to Thanos. The titan was looking at him again, and he was—smiling. Clearly he saw that he was taking his murderer with him with the same fate. Tony looked back at his hand and felt relief as it was just the gauntlet ebbing away. His body would surely be okay underneath. Pepper needed a body to bury when this was done. 

Once the instrument turned black and floated through the air as worthless particles, the stones were left behind, floating in place over his bare hand that was now revealed once the armor had dusted away. A second later, they lowered down onto his hand and began to sink into the flesh. Frantic, he tried to grab at them with the other hand which had lost the armor to the dusting affect. Apparently his suit couldn’t handle the snap either.

“NO! No…shit!”

He hadn’t been fast enough to stop the odd phenomenon, and the second the stones were out of sight, inside him, a scream of pure hot agony tore from his throat. It coursed from the point of penetration, up his arm, across his chest, and spread rapidly like the world’s cruelest wildfire with an intense electrical force fueling the flames. He was barely aware of the shouting or the fact that his armor continued to blacken and turn into flying debris in the wind. All he could do was scream and scream. His body seized up as it was lifted into the air by some unseen force. A magnitude of power ran through his veins like blood, but was tearing him apart internally. He could feel the awful sensation of organs shifting and seeming to melt away while tissue and nerves were ripping. He at least tried to hold onto some semblance of sanity as his brain fried without mercy.

He had no idea what was happening. He had expected to die, but not like this. Mentally he begged for it to stop as he ground down as best he could, but he was losing his grip.

The clothing he wore underneath the suit didn’t seem capable of taking it when Tony’s body began to glow like white molten lava as they burned into ash. Had he been capable of keeping his eyes open, he would have seen his skin changing drastically. Starting from the tips of his fingers and spreading quickly like a wave, the pigment faded as the epidermis underwent something that ate away the fleshy meat, transforming it into something thin and ghost like, and far too ethereal to be anything but alien.

The horrific pain seemed to go on for ages, but as it slowed, the intensity of the bright light from his body was dimming. Tony was reduced to panting harshly. His body spasmed hard as it slowly lowered of its own accord, but his feet refused to touch terra firma. Whatever lifted him up kept him levitating a few inches off the ground.

Tony hung there, momentarily exhausted. When he managed to calm down enough to open his eyes, he saw that everyone had become still and were staring at him in utter shock. Thanos had died and he had obviously stolen the scene. But the thing was he was conscious, which meant that he hadn’t just died in the most traumatic way before them. Somehow he had survived. It had been agonizing hell, but he had made it.

He almost smiled in relief. What had stopped him was the sight of his hands. It was enough to stop his heart. They lacked its usual pink color, making him almost transparent enough to be camouflaged against the environment around him if not for the low heavenly blue glow that colored and highlighted his form. Tony wiggled his fingers experimentally and felt them easily enough as though nothing physically had changed with them. It was just the look. A quick peek at the rest of his body showed the same affect. He was practically a ghost, hovering in the air.

His brain stopped working then as he stared in disbelief and terror coated confusion. 

“Oh god…oh god,” he whispered, wide-eyed, as his heart began to race.

_ What in God’s name had happened to him!_

Was this how death worked when a mortal used the Infinity stones? Was he now a ghost?

“Tony!”

He was alerted to Pepper’s shouts, and lifted his head in her direction. Heart aching, he watched Pepper flying toward him. 

“Pe…Pepper,” he managed to say weakly. 

Suddenly panicked, he made to run to her. His wife landed and made to sprint the short distance to him. Numbly he reached out his arms to embrace her, and ended up falling forward after his legs flew into the air as though a gust of wind he hadn’t felt lifted them. His arms attempted to wrap around her but caught nothing as he tumbled through her mortal form with a panicked gasp, and fell to the ground in a kind of slow motion, like a balloon bouncing along the surface which he didn’t manage to touch. His body just hovered above it as he tumbled long, like some human shaped hover board. 

Whimpering with fear, he forced shaky fingers downward to touch the earth below. He braced himself for the possible acknowledgment that he might be in some kind of invisible force field that kept him from interacting with something tangible. Without even literally having to touch it, he was able to move the dirt. It was like some magnetic effect pushing the particles of dirt along, but he could not truly feel the roughness of it. And as he watched, in growing concern and continued bewilderment, his colorless flesh began to dance with hues of yellow, blue, red, green, orange, and purple before becoming somewhat muted within the transparent bluish white glow of his skin.

Tony sat up slowly, his body still refusing to mesh fully with the earth as it floated in place. His chest heaved and his breathing quickened. A panic attack was coming on, and this time he wasn’t sure he could control it. 

“Pep…Pepper,” he wheezed as he slowly turned to look at her. 

He didn’t know who else to turn to. Pepper was his greatest and most trusted support. She might be able to tell him what was going on. Maybe it was something simple and he was just too panicked to see it.  
Her mouth was hanging open, and she was moving slowly as she stared at him. Then she came to a stop and just froze, wide-eyed. 

“Pep?”

Trembling, he took noticed of the silence and the hundreds of pair of eyes upon his form. His harsh breathing was the only source of sound because nobody said a word, and nobody dared get any closer to him other than Pepper who was only standing three feet away.

“T-Tony?” she questioned in a broken voice. Tears were already running down her face. 

Peter stepped up next to her, face mirroring the same confusion Tony felt.

“Mr. Stark? Are you, alright?”

Tony glanced down at his body again, this time hyper aware of his nudity. He felt of flush of embarrassment for it, but not much considering the bizarre and disturbing changes. 

Nothing was defined clearly. His bare chest was unnaturally smooth, as was everything else. There was not a scar or blemish to be found, and craziest of all, he lacked any real definition in his genitalias. It was just simple shapes, something a toy company might try to get away with for defining a Ken doll. His body appeared to mimic a simple male form without finishing up with the details of hairs, pores, and any little bump or wrinkle. Unconsciously he brushed a finger across his face and discovered his goatee was still there along with his head of hair. He took momentarily relief in being able to touch base with himself enough though he couldn’t do the same with anything else so far.

Still taking himself in, Tony shakily got to his feet, still levitating a few inches off the ground.

“What happened to me?” Tony questioned in awe. He revolved on the spot in the air to better face his audience. “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME?!”

The scream had shook the watching heroes who flinched and either took a step back or remained where they were, still trying to come to terms with the odd ghostly form they were seeing. Tony noticed that the dancing hues of the same six colors danced boldly across his form again with his sudden burst of emotion. 

The sound of steps alerted him to Pepper moving toward him. Everyone held their breath as they watched. Tony himself felt like a deer caught in the headlights, but he wasn’t sure why. This was his wife, and he had no reason to be afraid of her.

She quickly closed the distance between them, then with minor hesitation, she threw her arms around his shoulders. This time he didn’t phase through her, but her arms were prevented from landing flat onto his skin which made his heart sink. It really was as though there was a few inches of a force field covering him to prevent touch. Nonetheless, she managed to pull him into the best hug she was capable of giving him.

“You’re alive,” she gasped. “That’s what’s happened.”

Dazed, Tony slowly wrapped his arms around her at last. A bewildering kind of sadness made its way in from not being able to detect her armored body. It was the thing that made him question her statement about being alive.

“Am I?”

As he stared over her shoulder, the still watching army of Avengers showed no signs of relief or joy because they too weren’t certain. Strange was stepping down from a mountain of debris to get a closer look at him. From his face, he didn’t seem to have a clue about what was going on, which made Tony question himself even more. And as if the universe seemed to hear, there was a coolness making itself known starting at the tips of his fingers.

He raised them and noticed that they were turning to wisps of gas that quickly vanished into the air. He pulled away from Pepper sharply as it started happening all over himself.

“God…what’s happening?” he wheezed.

He could no longer control his breathing.

“Tony!”

She reached for him again, but her hands flew through nothing but air as Tony vanished into nothingness.


	2. Questions of alterations and Death

There was darkness when Tony came into some form of awareness. There was an eerie silence and no sense of anyone around him. He had a feeling he was alone. Before full on panic took him over, the darkness began to fade. Taking its place was violet colors blanketing tall dark mountains in the distance, under what seemed to be an evening sky. There was a body of water that reflected the sky and was very still as he stood in it. He didn’t find the quietness as disturbing as he felt he should have. For some reason, he found it comforting.

“Where am I?”

He gazed all around and noticed land behind him. Rather than walk over and start exploring, he decided to take another moment to take in the changes of his body. Considering his new environment, he was starting to wonder if he was truly experiencing death now. Perhaps the weird alteration to his body was a temporary side effect.

But when he looked down to see himself, there was nothing to see except what was reflected in the water below him. All there was were the same six colors that had danced within his skin, now swirling about in a formless shifting shape hovering a foot or two off of the water. There were no limbs, nor stomach, nor chest, nor even a head. There was just something that couldn’t be defined and his consciousness was at the center of whatever he was now.

“WHAT THE HELL?” 

He instinctively jerked back in shock, and the reflection of colors in the formless shape made the same movement. He moved again, this time to the side, and the formless shape copied him. He moved to his left then twirled in a circle. It changed nothing in the water. 

He wasn’t sure how he was controlling himself. He was just acting as though he had his normal human body, and somehow it was easily translated into his new form. As though bending down to take a closer look at himself, his hovering form lowered and his non-existent, or perhaps invisible, eyes shifted with the motion so that he was face to face with the water.

The colors danced in his ghost like shape that altered continuously, as if he was putty being stretched and pulled and rolled together, avoiding becoming some recognizable object or idea. It was truly fascinating, and for a moment he couldn’t help but feel awed. Everything else was forgotten as nothing else mattered more than what he was seeing right now. Was this his soul? He considered the idea, but he really didn’t believe that was the answer as his changing shape appeared tangible. But if he wasn’t a soul, then he wasn’t exactly human. He knew he had to be something.

Some of the shock wavered as it made room for fear, and in response his formless shape shivered. As stunning as he was, it was scarier not knowing what had happened to him.

“What, am I?”

“Tony.”

The quiet voice startled him. He turned his form to the direction of the beach. It had been empty before, but now a female figure was sitting on the edge, watching him with a semblance of calm with a dash of surprise. Tony wasn’t sure whether his form had a heart or not but if it did, it would be twisting.

“Romanoff?”  
She smiled softly and nodded, then beckoned him over. Tony didn’t move just yet as he was so caught off guard by the fact that she was there and that she somehow recognized him. Then again, he had shouted, somehow, in shock earlier.

“It’s okay Tony. It’s really me,” she confirmed.

She definitely looked like Natasha Romanoff, even down to the dark outfit she often donned during a mission. The thing was Tony knew her to be dead yet here she was, looking nothing like a ghost. She was just sitting there looking as solid as ever while he was there looking like some amalgamation of something undecided. 

Still not understanding how his formless body worked, he floated in her direction. The water wasn’t disturbed at all. One quick glance down at it showed him a dominance of orange coursing through him. Did it have to do with his relief and delight at seeing Nat again? 

Tony paused when he reached the water’s edge, unsure of what would change the second he maneuvered himself onto land. 

“You’ll make it.” She patted a spot next to her on the sand. “Trust me.”

Well, so far she was giving the impression that she knew far more than he currently did, especially since she hadn’t freaked out at his new look. So he moved forward until he was hovering over the spot she indicated. Like with the water, and before he even ended up here, he couldn’t stop levitating. It wasn’t the biggest issue at the moment, so he put it aside. For now, he just stared at her smiling face. Sorrow began to outweigh the sudden happiness, so much so that he wondered if he was capable of producing tears.

“Natasha.” He fell quiet for a minute as he really didn’t know what to start with. He quickly decided to put the focus on her so as to brace himself for whatever truth he would learn about himself. “You…didn’t you, die?”

She inhaled and gazed out across the water. He thought, for a second, he might have offended her, but she didn’t appear upset at all.

“I did. And it was worth it. Clint had a family waiting for him, and I didn’t.”

“We were your family,” Tony quickly informed her. “We were all…and Bruce, he was really broken up about it. When I heard I…god, I’m so sorry it had to happen. It shouldn’t have happened.”

“You wouldn’t have won otherwise,” she replied, still maintaining the same amount of calmness. “Don’t beat yourself up about it. I don’t regret my choice.”

“But still you, died,” Tony pointed out, as though she should be highly disturbed about it.

She merely looked at him, eyes shining happily.

“And I’m okay,” she assured him. “I’m at peace.”

He could believe it. Pure honesty was ringing in her voice, so he had no doubt she was okay. Tony turned his attention to himself as he glanced downward and saw a bit of his shifting body. 

“But what about me?” he asked in a shaky tone, scared of hearing the truth. “Am I…dead too?”

Natasha leaned back and looked at him as though she was pretending to figure out an easy puzzle.

“No,” she answered simply. “Just because you look a little different doesn’t mean you’re dead.”

“But why? Why in god’s name do I look like this? What happened to me? After I used the stones I was different too. I mean, I didn’t look like some colorful blob. I was still human, in shape, and I had my looks, but…seriously, what happened to me?!”

Natasha cocked her head at him curiously and overall, didn’t seem to think his new look was anything to panic about. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know. Obviously the stones are responsible. When you go back, maybe you and Bruce can figure it out.” The peaceful expression dropped just a little as sorrow reflected in her eyes. He understood why. He remembered she’d felt something for the physicist, but Bruce hadn’t believed it would work. “Send Bruce my love. Send them all my love.”

“If I make it back,” Tony muttered in concern. 

“You will go back because you’re not dead.”

“But, what am I?”

She was silent as she stared at him. She didn’t even appear to be wracking her brain for an answer.

“I don’t know. But, I do believe you’re still the same Tony I’ve always known. That’s a good thing, right?”

Tony wasn’t totally sure about that, although in truth he didn’t feel different in that respect. As far as he could tell his personality was still intact. He didn’t feel like a different person. As she smiled at him, a sudden twinge of nervousness struck him, causing his formless shape to shift wildly for a moment which in turn made him feel a pleasurable vibration.

“Yeah, I just don’t really look like me.”

“Is it uncomfortable the way you are now? Are you in pain?” Her face expressed concern that this could be a painful situation.

“No. I…I feel fine. It’s just, strange being like this. Like being a floating mind without limbs.” It was weird not sensing the normal human body parts, but for the most part his formless shifting shape felt oddly normal, as his regular body had before the change.

“Then maybe it’s not the worst thing in the world.”

“So, this is the afterlife?” he asked, preferring to move the conversation off of himself for now. The questions he had about himself, he found, was only making the fear worse. “Not much to it. Not even a bar.”

“No. This is a part of Vormir, where the soul stone was obtained. There might be some connection to the afterlife, but this isn’t it.”

Now, Tony was quite confused. He floated a little closer as he gawked at her.

“If, if this isn’t it, then how are you here?”

She turned her attention to the still water.

“I was called here.”

“By who?” 

“By you,” she said as she faced him again. “I could sense you were scared. Something was happening to you, or to your soul, and so I came.”

Tony wished she could see him frowning as he was just so confused.

“But…but I wasn’t thinking of anything. I panicked when I started to disappear. How is that calling you?”

Natasha merely shrugged.

“Don’t know. Maybe unconsciously you called me. You interacted with all the stones, and that includes the soul stone. I’m sure that’s why you’re here. Why I’m here. The soul stone is connected to death. It’s connected to this place” She made the motion to touch him in a comforting way, but dropped her hand, knowing that wasn’t something she could do. Or perhaps she could and just didn’t want to risk making things weirder.

Tony dropped his gaze to the sand as he processed her theory. 

“If…I somehow have the power of the soul stone, could that mean I have…all of them?” He looked to her for confirmation, but she gave no indication that he was on the right track. He didn’t need her to. “The stones, they, merged with me. I tried to stop it but, I couldn’t. I know they’re the reason I’ve changed but, does it mean that I really have, the power of the Infinity stones?”

“If you do, you know what that means,” Natasha stated seriously.

“It means, I’m the most powerful being in existence.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The inspiration for Tony's blobby form came from reading a sci fi fic on Deviantart that dealt with a character becoming a blobby shape thanks to an alien.


	3. Home Again

He couldn’t imagine being such a being. Throughout his life he had just been a regular human being, however he did have the added bonus of being a genius. Still, his greatest power came in the form of his creations, specifically his Iron man suits. Thanos had been the most powerful being, and it seemed odd that he had suddenly taken that title after killing him. Or maybe it just happened to be some universal reward for saving the world. But how much of a reward could it be if it involved the most dangerous items in the world—the Infinity stones?

“What the hell am I gonna do?” he gasped, suddenly feeling very lost.

“For starters you could try returning to your original form,” Natasha suggested. “When you go back, I imagine everyone will want to see some resemblance to your old self.”

“But, how do I do that?” As best he could, he took in his still morphing shape that continued to resemble nothing specific. The colors still danced throughout him, giving him an odd kind of beauty.

“Try slowly. Picture something simple like your hand. Maybe your body will follow and try to mimic the shape.”

“Maybe?” Tony questioned. He didn’t like her uncertainty, and it didn’t help that she only shrugged.

“It’s the best I can give. I’ve never been a blob, so I don’t know.”

“Great,” he muttered. It was better than nothing he had to admit. “Okay, here goes.”

He followed her instruction by picturing his right hand. He imagined all five digits, lengthy and eager to work. His shifting body slowed and he felt an area of it rise up into a blobby bump.

“Fingers…fingers,” he chanted.

The blobby bump wobbled but then went still. A shock of panic went through him at the sudden idea that it wouldn’t work.

“Fingers damn it…fingers! Come on!”

The bump wiggled, but then fell still. Tony waited, but it was difficult as the panic only increased. After a minute, the only thing that had happened was the bump sunk inward, merging with the rest of his formless shape.

“No! It’s not working! It’s not working! I’m stuck!”

“Calm down Tony. Just try to relax, and be patience.”

Tony took a moment to ease himself. He did his best to push down the fear of being trapped as a shapeless being, but it was difficult.

“It might not be so bad being like that,” Natasha suddenly said, distracting him from reaching a possible Zen moment.

“Of course it would. I have an image to maintain.”

“Perhaps, but was it all that pretty.”

She laughed lightly at the joke, and Tony couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped him as well. Following the laugh, he felt himself become just a little lighter and warmer when he hadn’t felt a particular temperature before. The color dancing through him now was prominently red. 

“I think I can go for it again.”

Natasha nodded and Tony went back to picturing his hand. The blobby bump rose once more, and when he thought of fingers, he noticed the shape beginning to divide along the surface. A minute later, he had clearly defined fingers. With a tinge of joy, he went further and just thought about the flatness of his hand. A couple of seconds later the palm of his hand was already forming.

“It’s working,” Natasha noted. “Keep going.”

Tony did so by extending the now fully formed hand along a cylindrical shape to make an arm. Once he had that going for him, he worked on the second hand and arm. Thrilled at seeing it sprouting so quickly, he decided to put the whole image of his body together and work toward it all at once. His line of sight stretched upward as his form headed toward a more vertical structure. Areas of his blobby form tapered off in order to separate into a section for the head, torso, and legs. Tony almost wished he had a mirror so he could watch what had to be a fascinating phenomenon. Natasha herself seemed amazed as his human body was born right before her eyes. 

He strengthened his will to become what he once was, and felt the process speed up. Soon he was gasping as his mouth had formed and opened. He took in what he thought was air as his nose centered, and he blinked a few times after regaining actual eyes. 

Tony glanced down at himself once he felt whole again. He was back, at least back to his original human shape, but the thing was he was still semi ghostly in appearance with the same colors flowing through him. He shut his eyes and tried to concentrate on the natural pigment of his skin. His fingers clawed hard into the palm of his hands as he focused on getting it back.

“Maybe that’s as far as it goes,” Tony said thoughtfully after about fifteen minutes of trying. “I think the stones changed my skin, and if so, I can’t get it back.” He dropped his hands and took notice of his hovering self. Aside from the nudity, which he wasn’t highly concerned about, he was still levitating. “Maybe I should work on having my feet flat on the ground instead.”

“Why don’t you work on getting home instead?”

“Tired of me already?” Tony teased. Natasha smiled in response.

“No, but I’m sure the others are worried about you. You’re not dead remember, and that means you can go home.”

“But what about you?” he asked as he floated closer to her. “I can’t leave you behind.”

He reached out for her arm, but his hands went right through her. He wasn’t sure if it was because of him or because of her state as a woman of the dead.

“You can. You must. Like I said before, I’m at peace. Once you’re gone, I’ll leave here and go back to it.”

He wanted to be okay with that, but he just couldn’t muster up a feeling of rejoice. Once he departed that would be it, unless he managed to use the power of the soul stone again, somehow. If so, this wouldn’t have to be such a sad affair. He opened his mouth to voice the idea, but Natasha suddenly held a stern look.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she said with an air of coldness. “I don’t want you using the stone and calling to me again. You have to move on.”

“Natasha.”

“Tony.” The sternness dropped and she was smiling again. “Return to your family. They need you more than I do.”

Tony dropped his head and a small sad smile appeared on his face as something twisted uncomfortably in his chest.

“Alright. I’ll miss you Nat.”

Natasha got to her feet at last and faced him straight on. The smile she gave him was warm and comforting.

“I’ll miss you too. I’m proud of what you managed to do Tony, and now you’ll be able to continue doing great things for the world. Give everyone my best.”

He gave a nod then shut his eyes as he thought of one thing; the place he needed to be. He had a home, and it was not Vormir. In response to his desire, his body felt lighter. He opened his eyes, expecting to see himself wisping away again into gas as he’d done when he first left earth, but in this case he was simply fading. Natasha was still standing before him, smiling. He made to say one last thing. Anything to keep the moment going just a little longer, but he didn’t get the chance. 

Natasha and the rest of the planet faded out of sight, and in an instance he was surrounded by the familiar environment of earth. Tony took in the surrounding trees, then dropped his eyes to his body which currently swirled in a dominant blue. 

“Okay,” he said slowly. He looked away and saw a familiar cabin in the distance. He had truly managed to teleport himself home. “Okay.”

He had managed that much, but there was still a major situation at hand. He still lacked his normal flesh and his feet refused to touch down on the earth. It was the kind of thing that made him question whether or not he was human. 

“Gotta get to Pepper.”

It was the better goal for the time being. As soon as he motioned himself onward, he found himself gliding gently forward as though he were a ghost. He stopped and turned to walking as a person normally would. He could walk just fine, but for some reason it seemed a little awkward and not smooth like gliding which was a simpler motion. He supposed his body was now more suited for the ghostly maneuver of just steering himself without putting up with the effort of using his legs. 

“Screw it.” He decided to just go with the flow and lean toward the direction of home, letting his body levitate the whole way down.

He paused before he got close enough, noticing the shadows of people moving about within the cabin, along with voices. He wasn’t exactly presentable considering he still lacked clothing, so the last thing he wanted to do was draw the wrong eyes, especially if his daughter was present. 

Then he thought of Natasha and what she’d said about him calling to her with the power of the soul stone. He wondered if he could do the same with the mind stone. He figured he could try and connect to Pepper, just by using his mind. So with a heavy exhale, he closed his eyes and concentrated on reaching his wife.

_‘Pepper…Pepper…can you hear me?’_

He opened his eyes after a moment and looked down at himself. His body had a golden yellow hue to it, glowing from, he assumed, trying to tap into the mind stone. He quickly shut his eyes again as he focused back to mentally calling out.

_‘Pepper…can you hear me? It’s Tony…Tony…I’m here’_

Tony didn’t know what it was, but he felt as though his mind was quite open. It was like he could sense things more without having to use his eyes or nose. Then there was a pleasant warmth informing him he might have just latched onto her. 

“Tony?” he heard her say aloud. 

He gasped with joy.

_‘I’m here. I’m outside, and I’m…still lacking clothing’_

Tony broke the connection and floated back into the shadows of a tall tree, waiting for her arrival. Seconds later she was bursting out of the front door. Her face showed obvious signs of crying even at a distance.

“Tony?”

Seeing that it was just her, he glided into view. Her eyes sparkled with relief before she hurried over to him and once more threw her arms around him. Once again, her arms never meshed with his body. Regardless, he returned the hug and tried not to think about the idea of never being able to fully feel her again.

“Oh god Tony what happened? Where did you go?” She pulled away to stare into his eyes. “When you disappeared I thought…I thought.”

“I know what you thought,” he said softly. “I thought the same thing too.”

The golden color faded as his colorless skin returned to dancing with all six colors of the stones. He pulled away from her, suddenly concerned.

“Maybe I shouldn’t be touching you. The stones, they’re in me.”

“I think, you’re okay. I’m okay…but you…” She trailed off as she took a step back.

Certain now that he wasn’t going to go disappearing on her, Pepper truly took him in. He was almost camouflaged against the darkened environment behind him if not for the bluish white glow to his skin and the constantly swirling colors that never seemed to clash. It didn’t make Tony look off-putting. Instead, he looked quite beautiful.

“Oh Tony, what…what are we going to do? Are you even okay?”

Before he could answer, three figures emerged from the cabin. The first was Bruce who appeared to be carrying clothing over one of his large arms. Behind him was Strange, and quickly pushing past him from behind was Rhodey. All three men stared at him like deer caught in headlights, but Bruce was able to shake himself out of it soon enough and come forward.

“I think you could use these,” he said with an air of teasing in his voice as he stepped forward. Tony took the clothes gladly.

“Thanks.”

“Jesus Tones, you scared the hell out of me,” said Rhodey as he came up and pulled him into a hug. Unlike Pepper, he was immediately aware of the fact that their skins didn’t touch. He pulled back looking concerned. All Tony could do was give an apologetic shrug.

“Sorry. Apparently I’ve got some kind of force field around me,” he apologized.

“Well that’s not gonna stop me,” Rhodey declared as he went back into the hug even though he couldn’t feel it.

Tony smiled at him gratefully then turned to Pepper.

“Is, Morgan here? I don’t want to have to try and explain to her what’s—”

“She’s been with my parents,” Pepper answered quickly. “Dr. Strange made a portal and brought me here. Thor’s here, and so is Peter.”

“What about cap and the others?”

“Organizing the rest of the Avengers from the battlefield. But what matters now is you. Are you okay?”

Tony was able to muster a smile before ducking his head.

“For now, I feel okay. I’m not in pain, I just…don’t really understand what happened to me.”

“Maybe we can find out,” Bruce said slowly. Tony didn’t miss the way his eyes studied him. He could tell he was already doing his best to analyze him.

“Maybe,” he said sourly. He didn’t exactly like the idea of having to become some kind of lab rat just to get answers. “Right now, I need a minute.”

He went to work on pulling up a pair of pants. 

“By the way, Natasha sends her love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony's home. Now it's time to start figuring out what he's going to do.


	4. Man in the Mirror

Tony didn’t miss the silence of his following companions as he floated up the stairs and entered his home. Of course they couldn’t quite wrap their heads around something that wasn’t exactly natural for him. Hell, he was still trying to wrap his mind around what had happened.

“How are you doing that?” Rhodey finally asked.

Tony revolved on the spot and saw that his eyes were glued to his hovering feet. 

“Oh, well, I’m not sure. I mean I can walk.” He demonstrated a walking motion for his awed audience, then stopped and stomped. “But my feet are lighter than air or something because I can’t touch down.” 

“Is it, tiring for you?” Rhodey questioned, concerned. 

“No. Actually just floating around like this has been easier. It hasn’t tired me so far.”

He put on a nonchalant smile, but in reality he did wonder if he could even get tired. Maybe the stones would prevent such a feeling, which didn’t seem so bad at the moment. But there were other things that the stones might have taken away to separate him from being human even more than he already was now.

“Friend Stark!”

He jerked around at Thor’s booming voice. The thunder god didn’t seem dumbstruck or disturbed by what he had become. He just came forward with his arms spread wide, and before Tony could say a thing Thor was sweeping him up into a great bear hug.

“It’s good to see you haven’t gone for good.”

“Same to you buddy.” Tony was able to meekly pat a large bicep. 

Thor set him back down and looked him over as he held him in place by his shoulders.

“You look different, but you’re alive. And might I say, you were quite the warrior against Thanos. I shall tell your story for ages to come. I’ll be the first to post it online.”

“Uh, let’s hold off on telling the world how much of a warrior I’ve become,” Tony said with a nervous little laugh. “The first thing I need to do is, well, check out a mirror.”

No one vocally objected but no one expressed that it was a good idea. He tensed a little and floated a step back.

“What? Do I look that bad?”

“Bad wouldn’t be the word I’d use,” Pepper pointed out. “And if you looked bad, I wouldn’t have hugged you.”

“Married me just for my looks?” Tony feigned offense by placing a hand over his chest. “Funny the stuff you find out about your spouse after a battle.”

There was a collective release of tension as shoulders sagged and grateful smiles donned their faces. Tony was pleased about that much; pleased that he could insinuate some form of normalcy with his very abnormal self. He was supposed to be the same Tony afterall, and he hoped that wouldn’t change once he peeked into a mirror.

“Come on you,” she said with a playful smirk playing across her lips.

Pepper walked by his side, leading him to their bedroom while the others remained behind. Now that he was moving out of their sight, he was starting to tense back up again. Just what would he see reflected back at him? He’d seen a version of himself he didn’t adore when he was on Vormir, but he was back in human form. Surely that meant that his facial features hadn’t changed. He balked at the idea that his friends might have been talking to some blobby or inaccurate version of a face.

Pepper stayed in the doorway as Tony made the slow move toward the dresser mirror. He hoped to see some semblance of his old self. If Pepper and the others were able to recognize him, then it couldn’t be too bad. 

His mouth parted just a little as he met his reflection. Much like the rest of his body, he was transparent with only a bluish glow giving some definition and a bit of solidity to his head. As of now, his body gave the impression that anyone could walk right through him, but the glow helped to show that he was still made of flesh; or whatever kind of flesh he had now since it had altered. 

He flattened his hands against his cheeks, barely acknowledging the fact that the force field didn’t prevent him from feeling himself. He moved closer. It was definitely Tony Stark staring back at him. The goatee was still there, but instead of obvious black, the color was taking on a dark blue tone as a way to be compatible with the bluish glow and to stand out against his skin. The same was done to his hair, but color wasn’t the only thing affecting his follicles. Normally his hair was somewhat messy or well combed. Now it was active as it flowed subtly as though he happened to be underwater. He brushed his fingers through it to settle it down. It did nothing except curl around his fingers for a second before waving about like seaweed in the ocean. His widened eyes were intact and not just glowing white orbs in his head. The irises were still there, but instead of dark brown, they were silver and sparkled continuously like diamonds around the pupils. The effect was so stunning, he couldn’t help staring at them for a good couple of minutes. As for the colors, they swirled about in his face just as they did everywhere else, yet somehow it wasn’t a huge distraction. It was just, well, phenomenal. 

He figured that was the best way to put himself. He was a phenomenon now. It didn’t matter that he had often viewed himself that way in the past and presented it like some kind of truth to the world by being quite a showman. He was literally some kind of phenomenon.

“Well?” Pepper asked, breaking apart the long lasting silence.

Tony floated back a little with a slight shake of the head.

“It’s, me…but it’s not me at the same time.” Tony rans his fingers over his face again as his brain tried desperately to keep up with what he was seeing. “It really is me. What the hell did those stones do to me?”

He kept staring at himself even as he noticed Pepper approaching him from the mirror.

“You are, still human right?” 

He didn’t miss the worried tone in her voice. She rested a comforting hand on his shoulder. Both looked at the way it refused to actually touch his skin.

“I hope so,” Tony said quietly. 

Tony knew he had failed to show how scared he was when their eyes met. The last thing he wanted to do was worry her. As fascinating as it was to become, this higher level version of himself, it was damn well terrifying at the same time.

“Well you know, there are some people out there that question whether or not Bruce is human.” It was a small joke, but Tony knew she was trying to make him feel better about it. He smiled briefly and dropped his eyes.

“This is a little different. The stones changed me into, I don’t know what.” He shivered as he thought deeper about it and stared down at himself. He really did feel like he was genuinely part of this vessel and not a consciousness floating in an imitation of it, but there was something still off about his existence. The feeling went back to his time on Vormir, and that nearly had his heart stopping. “I…I almost feel like I’m just…I guess the best way to put it is, taking the shape of my human self, as opposed to this being my natural form.”

It seemed to connect to the reason he’d become formless and why he had to work so hard to take on his old shape. But there was no proof it was so. He looked up and tensed at Pepper’s widened eyes, and her mouth parted in worry. For that reason, he vowed not to tell her that he had become a shapeless shifting blob before reappearing home again.

“So, you don’t feel human at all?”

“I don’t know. Right now, I still feel like me. My skin feels, smoother.” He ran a thumb over the back of one of his hands. It was like touching fine silk instead of soft human flesh. “Unnaturally smoother. But, I think Nat was right. I’m still me.”

He turned his back on the mirror as he made for the door. 

“What? Natasha?” Tony slowly faced her with a grim look on his face. “Wait, you mentioned her earlier. Did you really…is that where you…”

“Yes. When I disappeared, I ended up on Vormir. It’s a planet where the soul stone was found. I met her there. She claimed I somehow called her.”

“But how could you—”

“I don’t know,” he suddenly interrupted in a harsher manor than he’d intended. This was starting to become too much now. “I…I have to figure it out. One thing at a time.”

Pepper dropped her eyes and nodded. She realized he was becoming overwhelmed and she didn’t want to push him over the edge.

“Alright. Are you ready to go back and see the others?”

Tony said nothing for a moment as his thoughts brought forth another very important person to his mind. Said person had him frozen with intense, bone chilling fear. 

“Oh god, how’s Morgan going to take this?” he muttered to himself, terrified at the idea of rejection from his own daughter. 

He jumped as he managed to sense the faintest squeeze on his shoulder. He turned to Pepper who extended her other hand and placed it on his cheek.

“She’ll still love you, three thousand.”

It nearly brought tears to his eyes at that moment, but Tony held back and sniffled instead.

“Thanks Pep,” came the hollow reply.

He made to do what was always natural between them; pressing his lips against hers. He even shut his eyes as they committed, but like previous times he didn’t register it because they never touched. Disappointment bubbled within him. He could tell she felt the same even though she had turned quickly in the hopes that he wouldn’t catch it written across her face.

“Let’s go back out there,” Tony suggested, forcing strength into his words. “They probably think we’re doing something dirty in here, but this is the bedroom.”

She smiled and patted his cheek before leading the way out. Tony followed morosely with a hand on his heart. The good emotions his wife inspired would only last so long.

“Mr. Stark.”

Tony came to a standstill as the voice of an uncertain familiar youth came to his ears. He was afraid to turn around and face him directly. The kid had a certain image of him in his mind. It was one of those cases where one would prefer to be remembered in a certain way, however that mostly applied to a seriously ill person. He was anything but ill. He was seriously powerful, and he was scared of frightening the kid more. Although, he already sounded a little scared, or was he just nervous?

“Mr. Stark,” he tried again after getting no answer. “Are you, alright?”

Tony shot Pepper a look for help. She smiled and nodded to show that it was alright. The kid clearly needed to see him, so with a deep breath, Tony turned to him while praying that he didn’t swing away from his new self.

Peter appeared a little pale, and his eyes were red from a sign of crying. Quietly his mouth dropped. It was the only sign of movement from him so far. Tony was a bundle of nerves, but he did his best to look nonchalant as he pulled up a casual smile.

“Hey kid. I should be asking if you’re alright. I don’t think spiders are supposed to be that white.”

Peter’s eyes took him in cautiously, as expected, and Tony almost felt like berating himself for disturbing the young man. 

“You’re, different, looking I mean,” Peter noted. 

“I know,” he said with a dropped head. “I know I’m probably scaring the hell out of you, and for that I’m so—”

He didn’t get to finish apologizing as the boy suddenly crashed into him for a strong embrace. 

“I’m glad you made it Mr. Stark,” came a tearful cry. “I’m so glad you’re alive.”

Although he didn’t feel it, Tony wrapped his arms around Peter, pulling him in as much as he could. He didn’t bother to blink back the mist that made its way into his eyes. He supposed the strong churning feeling inside him came from the experience of once losing Peter as dust, and sadly the kid had had to go through a nearly similar thing when he’d just vanished for no reason, and after they had reunited. It was a bad experience they’d shared, just like everyone else had when Thanos first snapped. He was sure this reasoning applied to Peter. It had to have been traumatizing for him considering the way he lightly trembled in his arms. Well he was going to make sure he didn’t go anywhere from now on. The time of loved ones disappearing was over now that Thanos was dead, and now the only thing left to sort out was himself.

“I’m glad I’m alive too. And don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The holidays are keeping me busy, so updates may be a little slower.   
Anyways, thanks to the reflection we have a full idea of what Tony looks like now thanks to the stones. Next it's time to figure out where he'll go from here.


	5. Conversations

Tony did his best to ignore the looks as he settled down at the head of the table in the kitchen. Everyone was gathered around him now, waiting to discuss the next move after he’d gotten a good look in the mirror at himself. He shifted uncomfortably as his form just refused to sit flat in the chair. His body just had to keep levitating a couple of inches above the seat. He raised his eyes to see if anyone was bugged by this, but for the most part, the little crowd appeared saddened.

“Hey now, what’s with the sad faces,” he said with the hopes of cheering them up a bit. “It’s not like I’m dead right? I’m a little ghostlier, but I’m still here at least.”

“I think that’s the question of the hour.”

Tony turned to Strange who was seated on his left, sandwiched between Peter, who was closest to him, and Thor. It was the first words he’d heard from him upon returning.

“What, you don’t think I’m here?”

Strange narrowed his eyes as he scrutinized him closely. 

“I think you are, but not in the same sense as the rest of us.” He closed his eyes and held up a hand that had some blue geometric circular outline that was rotating in his palm. Tony jumped up and backed away in alarm.

“What the hell? Trying to exorcise me Harry Potter?”

“Tony, you can be an ass, but you’re no demon. I’m just getting a read on you using one of my spells.” 

Tony relaxed a bit as everyone waited for the wizard’s reading. Strange’s face shifted into a frowns as he concentrated and tilted the circle as if trying to tune in with a dial. When he made a more dramatic turn, Tony felt something that made him make a noise of discomfort. It was like a brush of cold air sweeping up his clothes.

“Stop it! You’re hurting him!” Peter cried worriedly.

“It’s fine kid. It just tickles in a cold way.” Despite being as uncomfortable as cold air, Tony felt some joy in being able to feel something strongly when it had been absent so far.

Strange hummed as if he’d latched onto something, then dropped his hand and opened his eyes. 

“Well?” Rhodey prodded from across the table. 

“It’s as I was theorizing. Stark is here, but at the same time, he’s not on the same plane as the rest of us.” He turned to face Tony and continued. “It’s as if you’re caught in between the living world and the metaphysical realm. You’re almost an astral projection of yourself, but not because that is your body, just…metamorphosed to a higher level of yourself.”

“Jeez thanks, I couldn’t figure out that I was a higher level of myself since I merged with the damn stones,” Tony huffed as he sank back onto his seat. 

“But is it life threatening?” Pepper asked the doctor. “Those stones are dangerous.”

“The Infinity stones did something remarkable to Stark when it should’ve killed him. But I don’t see him as becoming a ticking time bomb,” Strange replied as he scrutinized Tony, much to his irritation. “It’s just…to be honest, I don’t know.”

“What don’t you know?” Tony challenged.

The look on his face was so serious that Tony couldn’t help but be chilled by it.

“I don’t really know, if you’re alive or dead.”

The silence following was heavy. For a moment Tony could only stare back at Strange in a mix of anger as well as intense fear. Though he had questioned that himself, it felt worse coming from the wizard, or really from anyone for that matter. He supposed it would take more fishing around to get more grounded answers, but he was impatient to learn something now, and all Strange could do was assume.

“That is a good question,” Bruce suddenly piped up. “How and why did you survive? When I used the gauntlet, it took everything in my power to hold it together.”

“It wasn’t like it was a walk in the park for me pal,” Tony said grimly as he thought back to the immense amount of pain he’d experienced. It was something he knew he would never forget. In fact, he was certain he could feel a tingle of that horrible Infinity current.

“I know,” Bruce agreed just as grimly. “I saw the pain you were in. I knew what it felt like. But the thing is, when I used the gauntlet, the stones didn’t merge with me.”

“Maybe it’s because Tony wasn’t using it to bring people back. He was using it to get rid of Thanos,” said Rhodey.

“That could explain why the stones reacted in such a way,” Strange said thoughtfully with his face frowned up to match. “Then again Banner, you have the Hulk as an added form of protection, whereas Stark was just his normal human self.”

“So if Stark was part Hulk, this wouldn’t have happened?” Thor questioned.

“I don’t know,” Strange admitted.

“What about, where you went Tony,” said Bruce, bringing about a slight change in the subject matter.

“What?”

“You vanished on the battlefield,” Thor reminded him. “Was that of your own choosing?”

“And also you mentioned that, Nat sent her love,” Bruce added. A twist of sorrow erupted as he watched Bruce’s face reflect the same emotion at the thought of Natasha. 

Tony suddenly found his fiddling fingers more interesting to look at.

“I didn’t vanish because I wanted to. I…I ended up on Vormir. You know, the birth place of the soul stone, so to speak. Anyways, while I was there, I saw Natasha.”

He heard the tremble of a gasp from Bruce which made him slump his shoulders as if in shame. 

“But how?” Thor asked.

“She said I had called to her, and that’s why she appeared.” They were all looking at him as though he had transformed into something even more bizarre before their eyes. Tony just shrugged and offered up an apologetic look as he continued. “I guess before I left I was questioning my existence too much. Maybe that’s why I was sent to Vormir. I was asking myself whether or not I was alive. Nat figured I unconsciously called to her soul because I was so troubled. I guess without realizing it, I used the soul stone in me.”

Silence fell again, and the crew bowed their heads as their fallen teammate came to their minds.

“How did she look?” Bruce asked tentively. “How, was she?”

Tony smiled softly as he thought back to their visit.

“She looked good. And she was at peace.”

“Can you—”

“She didn’t want me using it again to contact her,” Tony filled in, already knowing what Bruce was going to ask. The physicist reluctantly accepted this as he nodded. 

“Did she have any ideas about what was happening to you?” Pepper asked as she placed a hand on his right shoulder. Tony failed to hide an expression of momentary unease as he recalled his shapeless form. No, he didn’t want to bring that part of his visit up. “No. She knew as much as the wizard over there. But, she did believe that I’d become the most powerful being. Maybe more-so than Thanos had been.”

It was not exactly the words most of them were comfortable hearing. If there was anyone out there that could possibly top Thanos, it deserved to be obliterated on the spot. The world could not go through another force as great and terrible as that. Tony could see that on their faces. They showed nervousness, but so far none of them were running for the door or grabbing weapons to use against him.

“So, that means you have powers now?” Peter brought up innocently. “I mean you were fine as you were, but now, you’re ten times stronger.”

Tony smiled lightly at him, feeling wary of labeling his circumstances as a positive thing. But he didn’t want to bring him down.

“Yeah, I guess that makes me the most badass Avenger of all time.”

“Unless we can extract the stones,” Rhodey offered. Every head turned to him. “Why not? Look what they did to Tony. That kind of power doesn’t belong here.”

“I agree,” said Bruce, “and it’s not just because of the power. Those stones need to be returned to their own time and place, otherwise who knows what chaos it’ll create on the universe.”

“But what if the stones are the only thing holding Mr. Stark together?” asked Peter. “We find a way to take them away, he might…”

He couldn’t voice it, nor did he need too. Pepper squeezed Tony’s shoulder as much as she was able to then looked away from the group. Tony himself sank back as illness took over him. It was odd though because he had been prepared to die when he snapped, however if this was the only way he could remain among the living, he could be willing to adapt. The last thing he wanted was to leave Pepper and Morgan again. However, when he glanced down at his abnormal hand, he felt a little unsure. The power of the stones couldn’t be denied, and if living this way posed a danger to others as well as to the universe for refusing to return the stones, then he would accept death yet again.

“What if he doesn’t,” Rhodey argued. “Hey, we made time travel possible, so we can sure as hell make sure Tony survives the process.”

“I think I played a huge part in the invention of time travel,” Tony said in a smug fashion that had Strange grimacing with annoyance. “So it’d most likely come down to me in figuring out how to get rid of the stones. Then again, I’m not an expert on them.”

“I can help with that,” Strange said after a sigh, “But personally I don’t believe there will be a safe way to do it. Not only would your life be at risk, but ours as well.”

“Well, depending on how it’s done,” Bruce countered.

“Anyone hungry?” Pepper suddenly piped up. She was already on her feet and moving to the refrigerator. 

Tony could tell by her tense movements and the change of subject that she preferred not to dwell on the idea of him losing his life. He smiled lovingly at her. God was he happy to have made it back. 

“Ah sure, I could eat,” said Rhodey sheepishly.

He and the others shifted, also sensing that Mrs. Stark wasn’t comfortable with the direction of the discussion. 

“I can help Mrs. Stark,” Peter offered.

He jumped up to help her pull items out of the fridge. Across the kitchen counter, they laid out bowls of sides and dishes that were nothing but leftovers. Granted she hadn’t had much of a chance to pull anything else off since she’d come to join in the fight. But that was just fine with Tony. It was very homey to see.

“Tony, uh, are you hungry too?” she asked as she glanced over her shoulder at him.

He frowned and glanced at his stomach. So far he hadn’t been, and that in turn made him wonder if he would ever be. Did the stones change him so much that he wouldn’t require food to live? He wasn’t sure if he should even try and stuff food into himself just yet.

“Uh, not really to be honest. Maybe later.”

“What about something to drink Mr. Stark?”

Peter was turning from the fridge with a jug of punch in his hand just as Pepper had turned. The sudden bump caused him to lose his grip and the jug tumbled from his hand. Without thinking about it Tony made a reach for it, and that’s when it happened. The jug was saved from crashing to the floor and making a mess because it was now floating. Tony was barely aware of how his hand glowed yellow as he kept his palm open and facing the jug. He pulled it back, making the jug levitate over the table, then let it land in front of him. 

Wide eyes greeted him when he looked up at his audience. 

“Yeah, of course I have telekinesis,” Tony stated as though it was some kind of irritant. 

There were a few looks exchanged, notably between Strange and Bruce.

“That will come in handy,” Thor noted.

“Yeah. I’m gonna go get some air.”

Tony moved back and floated along the table in the direction of the front door. He didn’t turn back to see the obvious pairs of eyes following him out. Right now he didn’t want to think about what he’d just done.

Once outside he breathed a little easier. As happy as he was to be reunited with everyone, he was getting just a little bit claustrophobic from being on the spot, which was saying something as he normally didn’t turn from attention. But things had changed over the years. There were now more important things than being in the spotlight. However he was dealing with something that needed the utmost attention. He understood that. He was just fearful of what it would mean going forward. If there really was no way to remove the stones, then he would have to find a way to live as he was and face the consequences of the universe. Adaptation came to mind again, but he imagined it might not be easy.

“Hey.” He turned from the porch railing to see Rhodey standing in the doorway. “Mind if I join you in getting that air?”

“You expect me to say no to you honey bear?”

“I sure don’t.”

Rhodey stood next to him and together they stared out at the wide, peaceful lake. 

“Sorry about in there,” Rhodey apologized.

“For what?”

“For the idea of, extracting the stones. I didn’t mean to scare you by bringing up what it could mean. Of course we won’t do that if it risks your life.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. It makes sense to bring that up.” He glanced down to his palms which were no longer dancing with just the hue of yellow. “If we can get them out of me without a problem, then I’m all for it.”

“You sure” Rhodey asked with a hint of teasing in his tone. “You’ll have a better way to show off with telekinesis.”

Tony laughed. 

“If I don’t blow anyone up first.”

Rhodey faced him and rubbed a finger over his shoulder.

“Maybe there’s a way to compensate for the loss of the stones. Or maybe the universe will course correct. If so, the stones might not be so dangerous in your hands. You could learn to manage the powers they’ve given you if there’s no way to reverse what’s been done. Hell, if you’re good enough at it, you could rejoin the team as a super, cooler Iron man.”

“Thanks Rhodes, but my place is here.”

“Your place is always here,” Rhodey agreed, “but that doesn’t mean you can’t still help others, especially with your new abilities. I mean you came out to help find a way to bring people back. I think that proves that the Avenger in you is still thriving and ready to go. But only if you want to. No pressure.”

“Right.” 

It was something to think about. If he ended up staying this way and controlling the powers of the stones, he could be quite the valuable asset to the team. Though he had always contributed greatly to the missions and everything needed for it, he was now an even greater force to be reckoned with. So, maybe the Infinity stones didn’t have to be the worst thing ever for earth. Perhaps he really could put on the suit again and return Iron man to the people. Perhaps Pepper would understand, along with Morgan, unless they viewed it as another chance to lose him because being an Avenger was dangerous business.

He hunched his shoulders and dropped his head as he let his thoughts settle on the first steps of his situation. He couldn’t make the leap to being a hero again unless he had some grasps of what he was. That alone was still terrifying.

“Rhodey, I’m scared,” he admitted quietly. “I’m…scared of what I’ve become. I’m scared of these damn stones.”

Rhodey pulled him into a side hug, holding him tight.

“I know,” he said softly. “I am too, but, we’re going to get through this.”

He wanted to believe those words and just be fine and happy that he had survived. Maybe anyone else wouldn’t have been so lucky. Hell, Natasha hadn’t been lucky enough to survive this, so he should be grateful.   
Deep down he was, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t afraid of himself. He clutched the railing hard and watched as the dancing colors in his hand intensified briefly before lowering. He wished, for a moment, that his normal skin tone would blanket over it and hide the reminder of the stones from his view for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys had a happy holidays :)


	6. Unraveling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's become a busy new year for me so far, but I'm glad to be able to update.   
Poor Tony. He's pretty troubled by his changes, and it won't get easier anytime soon.  
I'll see how updates go in the future and how the story feels going forward.   
Enjoy

Tony watched the others wrap up their dinners with a kind of detachment. He still hadn’t felt hungry, and because of that he was concerned. It hadn’t been that long between now and his moment after the battle, and yet he wondered if his future participation in dinnertime was just watching others eat. Although he could admit that he might be overthinking his current lack of hunger.

As he twiddled his fingers, his eyes revolved to the jug that he had saved using his powers. In the moment he hadn’t really thought, he just acted. Afterwards he was free to find it a bit frightening. Perhaps the past Tony would have been more intrigued and eager to show them off, particularly after becoming Iron man, but it was a little different now. He’d been through too much shit not to take certain things a little more seriously. These damn stones weren’t a toy. They had been responsible for the worst devastation in mankind’s history. They had been responsible for taking Peter away.

He shivered at the idea of that somehow happening again. What if without realizing it, he caused some kind of ‘snap’ to happen again? What if this time it wasn’t just Peter, but Pepper, and his sweet baby girl? Maybe in some way he had actually become a human gauntlet for the stones, and instead of adorning the outside of the gauntlet, they were adorning his interior. 

There was much to be worried about, yet there was a small part of him that was curious about what all he could do.

“Tony.”

He was drawn away from his thoughts by Bruce standing next to him. 

“We’re heading out to meet with Steve.” He gestured at Thor and Strange standing behind him. “We want to make sure everyone’s taken care of and finds their way home.”

“Oh,” Tony answered simply. “I guess give Steve my best. If any of them wants to have a slumber party, tell them I’m not in the mood right now.”

Bruce nodded with understanding.

“I’ll let them know you need the rest. They’ll understand after you saved our asses.”

“Thanks buddy.”

Strange swiped a hand in a circular fashion to create a portal. Through the portal, Tony could see a few Avengers moving about in the distance. Bruce patted Tony’s shoulder as a means of goodbye before stepping through. 

“Rest well my friend. You’ve more than earned it,” said Thor before he too stepped into the portal. 

“Parker, Colonel Rhodes, are you coming?” Strange asked.

Peter appeared uncertain about leaving which touched Tony. He even backed away and hovered near him.

“But Mr. Stark…he…I mean, I can’t leave him.”

Tony reached out to lay a hand on his arm.

“Hey kid. Don’t be a third wheel here,” he teased. “In case you didn’t notice I do have a Mrs. Stark over there, and like Bruce said, I could use the rest.”

The kid shifted and he found his feet much easier to look at. He was almost like a little kid, scared to leave his parent’s side. 

“Okay, I’ll go,” he began quietly. “But, I’ll see you again right?”

Tony smiled as he turned to fully face him. It was clear in his eyes that he feared he would go vanishing into thin air again. He wouldn’t if he could help it.

“Like I said earlier. I’m not going anywhere kid. We’ll have some real touching moments together if you want them. But right now, I need you to be the hero you are and help the others.”

There was pride swelling up in Peter from the praise, and it was enough to convince him to follow Thor. 

“I’m guessing you won’t need me around either,” Rhodey said as he too rose to his feet.

“Abandoning me too? Just cause I look a little different?”

Rhodey’s laugh was a welcomed noise from the worries in his head.

“Hey, you have a Ms. Stark remember? I think you could do without my company for a little while.”

“Alright, alright. Just, be safe.”

“Thanos is gone,” Rhodey said as he walked toward the magic exit, “I think we’re all safe for a while.”

Tony started to make a reference to the comment, but shut his mouth. Things seemed safe now, but he wasn’t so sure considering himself. Strange got into position to step into the portal himself.

“Mrs. Stark, thank you again for the food.”

“It was my pleasure.”

He casted a very curious look at Tony before stepping into the portal himself. If Tony didn’t know any better, he’d say Strange was concerned about him. Perhaps in a way he agreed with his thoughts about him not exactly being safe. He faced him before he closed the portal completely.

“Stark. Good work out there.”

“You too, I guess. I didn’t really catch what you were doing since I was pretty preoccupied.”

Strange didn’t exactly express amusement at the words. 

“Whenever you’re ready, we’ll try and figure this out.”

“Great, I can’t wait to be prodded and poked at with needles and spells,” Tony answered cynically. 

Strange said no more as he closed the portal, completing their departure. Now it was just him, the quietness, and his wife. He was very much aware of himself without the small crowd surrounding him, though it had been nice. But now he felt himself crumbling a little as his new existence became even sharper. 

His hand trembled just a little as he brought it up to pinch the bridge of his nose. Thanos was dead and he had survived as something indescribable. Basically it was time to reunite with loved ones and start getting back to the norm. But what was the norm for him now?

He released a small sigh that ended in a whimper. He’d kept a certain mask in place to keep the others from feeling as he felt, but it had cracked during his talk with Rhodey, now it was slipping away completely. He sensed Pepper walking up behind him and offering her hand. Without a word he grabbed it, kissed the top of it, then held it to his cheek as he began to sob. 

“What’s wrong with me?” he asked shakily. “I should be happy right now. I should be more grateful.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay Tony.”

She leaned down to rest her head on his shoulder. There was no one else present to witness his break down, so it was fine. Tony believed it was fine to let the night’s events collapse on him as he slumped miserably in the chair.

An hour later he was standing in the doorway of Morgan’s bedroom. Once her face made a presence in his mind, he refused to think of anything else in that moment. He was aware that he was still floating and dancing with colors, but it wasn’t his concern then. He was back to just being the father who would sometimes linger in the doorway when he checked on his daughter. He was just, normal.

“Tony?” He turned to her. “You think you can sleep tonight?”

“That’s a good question. Am I capable of sleep?”

“That’s, not exactly what I meant. I mean, after everything that happened…”

“Yeah, insomnia might be a factor tonight. Or.” He stopped to wrap his arms around her, pulling her close. “There could be another very good reason why I can’t sleep.”

“Tony,” she chastised playfully, “that’s sweet and all, but I’m still trying to raise one child. I’m not exactly ready to multiply.”

Tony just grinned playfully before letting her go. It was all light-hearted of course, but he had no idea if he really would be able to sleep with her again. There was no telling what it would do to her body. Would he end up shooting off some of the stones’ power into her? And if she were to get pregnant again, would said baby become some bizarre manifestation of the stones like its old man?

“You’re probably right. We should wait before bringing a super baby into the world.”

She simply smiled as she took his hand and led him to their bedroom. 

Five minutes were spent staring at the bed. To his dismay, tiredness hadn’t reached him yet. He just felt fine. As a normal person he would’ve been more than happy to roll into bed and possibly sleep for days.

“Tony?” Pepper stepped into the bedroom in her night top. 

“It’s alright Pep. I was just thinking.”

He could tell he hadn’t convinced her, but he appreciated that she didn’t push for the truth. She pulled her hair back then settled down on her side of the bed. Once down she moved her hand within reach and opened her palm.

“You can hold onto me while you sleep. I’ll make sure you don’t go anywhere.”

Tony smiled softly then slowly climbed in beside her.

“Thanks, but I don’t see myself going anywhere. Not like before.” He clasped her hand anyway and stretched out on his back. The mattress never touched him as he acted like some possessed soul since he was levitating. Pepper turned to him when he gave a noticeable loud sigh. He met her gaze and shrugged apologetically.

“Sorry I can’t touch base with you. Unless you meet me half way by learning to float.”

“Sorry,” she said in a matching teasing manner, “I haven’t been practicing that side of my power.”

It was levity that he needed then, and he choked out a laugh before turning to the ceiling.

“K’ay. I’m gonna try it. I’m going to shut my eyes, and everything will be okay after that.”

In response, his wife squeezed his hand. He appreciated it, even though he was becoming nervous about falling asleep. Still, he made the first step by shutting his eyes and letting his body relax. 

The quietness helped a little, but for the most part he was simply lying still in the air. He didn’t want thoughts entering his brain, but one thought, or rather worry, came anyways. He recalled his frustration with being unable to sleep in the past. Those hadn’t been good times and he was amazed he’d made it through. However, as time moved on, he became more lax. 

An inky black sky hovered over him, dotted with a million stars and colors. It didn’t appear to be a normal sky. Something about it read to him as the universe. He’d been in space before, but he didn’t recall seeing such a sight. That didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that he was here in some space where waves gently rolled underneath his floating body.

It was nice. The atmosphere was gentle and most of all peaceful. 

He sighed heavily and just let himself unravel right there. 

Everything was okay. 

Everything was safe and good.

A scream, rather than an alarm, alerted him to wakefulness from a pleasant sleep. It took seconds for him to realize it had come from Pepper. Immediately he was on alert and searching for her.

“PEPPER! Wha…”

When he turned, he had spotted her pressed against the dresser, staring at him in utter horror. Before he could start asking questions, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror behind her. Now he understood.   
He sighed and deflated a little as he was reunited with his formless shifting self. And here he was thinking he’d managed to get back to normal once he reformed himself into a human shape. Apparently it wasn’t a permanent thing.

“Pep, it’s alright,” he assured her gently. He could only imagine the chaos happening in her mind at the sight of him. He was at least happy that she didn’t pass out.

“t-Tony?” she gasped, “h-how are you…what are you…”

“I think I’m communicating to you mentally, even though I don’t feel like I’m using my thoughts to talk to you. I honestly didn’t think about that part when I was talking with Natasha. I thought I was speaking normally.”

He floated closer to the edge of the bed, but stopped when she became spooked enough to jump back.

“Wait…what? This is…normal?”

Tony made a movement that was something of a shrug as two arches formed near the sides of his formless shape and lifted upwards like shoulders.

“I don’t know,” he admitted in the lightest tone he could muster. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry but, this is what I ended up being when I met Natasha on Vormir.”

Pepper exhaled deeply as her body slid down to the floor. The shock had apparently been too much. She rested a hand against her forehead and shook her head.

“Oh god Tony.”

“Sorry,” he whispered. “I guess I reverted back to this while I slept. So, apparently, what I told you earlier was right.”

“What was?”

He didn’t even want to bring it up again. It was bad enough he’d gotten such a dark feeling about himself. She cocked her head curiously. Tony sighed, feeling he could possibly confirm it now.

“That my human body is no longer my, natural form. This is.”

**Author's Note:**

> Haven't written an Avengers fic like this that goes beyond a smaller/simpler plot and with lots of characters, some of which I hadn't written before. I'll see how it turns out and keep it going if all goes well :)


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